Over the course of a day I come in contact with many different types of people. Some of these people I like, while others I can't stand. If you meet any of the following criteria, chances are I hate you and wouldn't brake if I saw you crossing the street. So please peruse through this list and if you find yourself saying "Hey, I do that!" then please, go play in an anthrax sandbox.

1. If you refer to your friends as "peeps" or "chicas," I hate you.

2. If you think 'The Fast and the Furious" should've won an Oscar, go take a big swig of Drano.

3. If you have some lame philosophical quote in your AIM bio, I hate you.

4. If you've ever IM'd me while I was downloading porn, I hate you.

5. If you think Taylor Hicks is the next John Lennon, then see a doctor, you may have a brain tumor. But don't treat it.

6. If you're that prick who owns a black Civic with all tinted windows and its own built-in dance club, I hate you.

7. If you mess your pants everytime a cashier hands you a state quarter, then your parking spot woes are over my friend-you're mentally handicapped.

8. If you spend more than three hours a day at the gym and walk as wide as possible, I hate you.

9. If you think Larry The Cable Guy is funny, go take a nice warm bath with a toaster.

10. If you own a rusty pick-up truck and drink through a straw going through the gap in your teeth, I hate you.

11. If you end every sentence with "Dawg," and you're white, stick a fork in your eye, then twist.

12. If you're 40 years old and spend your weekends competiting in Yu-Gi-Oh! contests, I hate you.

13. If you own a huge Cadillac and your speedometer is always lower than 25, do us all a favor and slit your wrists.

14. If you're the dad who yells "Choke up on the bat!" at the little league games, then choke up on my dick and suck it, asshole.

15. If you have a boyfriend, and its not me, I hate you.

16. If you feel you can relate to anyone on "The Real World," light your hair on fire and pray it wakes your brain up.

17. If you're the prick who holds up the line at the grocery store because you can't find your bubble gum coupon, I hate you.

18. If you're the guy who's always in a huge hurry and leaves the movies right before the credits come up, I hate you.

19. If you still say "Word!" then hop on the next boat to Retard Island.

20. If you thought Eminem winning an Oscar was the second coming of Christ, stay away from open flames and sharp things.

21. If you jump on every fad as soon as it comes up, I hear the next big thing is going to be humping blenders.

22. If you think the logo "Abercrombie and Fitch" really makes that t-shirt worth $65, then congratulations, you're retarded.

23. If you're the dumbass that gave a mint "Dark Side of the Moon" record with the collector stickers and posters to Goodwill so that I could buy it for a quarter, thank you.

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