Justin Hagerman: Comedian, Writer, Lover

This is David McCall. Dave is your typical teenager: lazy, irresponsible and without a care in the world.
All was going well in the world of Dave until he turned 16 and was faced with a dilemma not uncommon among teens: a license, but no car.
Now, he could’ve gotten a job and bought a car himself, but, says Dave, "My older brother is always saying how much work sucks, so I was like, f**k that.”

No job, no money; no money, no car, right? Wrong.

Is it right to deny a teenager their vehicle to freedom just because they're lazy? Of course not. So Dave pleaded his case to S.A.T. and his life immediately changed for the better.

Mr and Mrs Berk

Mr. and Mrs. Berk reviewed David’s case and decided to help. The Berks are simple folk who get by month-to-month on social security checks. Mr. Berk, who lost his left leg in World War II, felt empathy for David.
"I know what it's like to be unable to get from place to place, to feel stranded. So when I read that David missed out on an opportunity to 'Tap that skank Jen's love tunnel' because he had no car, a tear came to my eye."
So the Berks started sending half of their income to S.A.T. to help Dave purchase a car.
“We’ve never been fortunate enough to be blessed with grandchildren,” said Mrs. Berk, “So we decided to help poor David.”

Dave's hot new wheels.

So Dave bought himself a car. But it didn’t stop there. Thanks to the "Endless Caring" clause in the contract the Berks signed, they were legally obligated to continue sending Dave money until he felt satisfied.

“Shit, soon I was buying CD’s, Playstation games, anything I wanted!" said Dave. "And thanks to S.A.T. and those old people, I didn’t have to lift a finger."

Dave is currently 29 years old and is still receiving a generous monthly income from Mrs. Berk. Mr. Berk died of malnutrition in 2003.

You’re probably asking yourself, "How can I help teenagers like David?" Well, by donating a small amount each month, you can help one of thousands of teens just like Dave. After you sign up, you’ll be sent an information packet on your teen which includes their name, age and reasons why they don’t feel like working.
NOTE: SOME FORMS MAY BE BLANK IF THE TEENAGER DIDN’T FEEL LIKE FILLING THEM OUT

The newer, vibrant Dave.

Why sponsor some starving kid in some country you’ve never even heard of who will probably die soon anyway, when you can help a lazy teenager next door?

Surveys show that teens who receive supplemental income now will be 12% less likely to have their elders melted down into a source of fuel in the future. So sponsor a teenager today, and prolong your life by ensuring their's will be leisurely.